Boys Boys Boys....

Well, September came and went and I have yet to encounter a move moment. However I did just say yes to a date this Friday, but the guy keeps spoutin' out these weird comments on facebook that I don't know how to respond to. Par exampla:

Guy: It's okay. I'm used to rejection. I got rejected al ot. I was a little creepy and still am a little weird. I mean look at me (the guy has a nose ring and a fo-hawk. which is totally fine with me)
Me:Weirdness is okay, but creepiness I'm not so sure.
Guy:I just have a weird personality
Me: aren't you supposed to be convincing me to go on a date with you? Maybe you're the only one who thinks you're weird.
Guy: No, I get it a lot. This will be a horrible date.
Me: Dude, have a little confidence. what's so weird about you?
Guy:No I'm just messing with you. i am a little weird, but I'm not going to oversell myself either.
(this whole thing is over facebook chat,mind you. Drew Barrymore hit the nail on the head with her description of modern day dating in "He's Just Not that Into you")

Or how about this one after he turned our getting coffee on my way St. Louis into a dinner date over sushi (yumm!)

Guy: Now I just realized I'm going to have to get my haircut and shave tomorrow

How's a girl supposed to respond to that? And I asked him almost exactly that. Yet again, he said it was a joke.

This could get interesting. But for some reason I'm excited. I don't even know if I like the guy, and I have yet to mention how we met:

It's after midnight on January 1, 2011--the beginning of my 24th birthday and what is so far promising to be the best year of my life (and not because of this date). I'm at Campus Crusade's Conference in Denver walking around the 5 dollar prom, looking for friends to dance with, when this guy comes up to me and says:

"Hey, I know this is going to sound weird but I really like you're hair."

I stop, almost in shock. "Oh!" "I say. "Well thanks! I just dyed it" (my mom hates the black hair, but i personally love it!)

"Yea, I like short hair on girls."

"Thanks!" I say again...and walk off.

Later, I'm milling about again--going from friend to friend, making sure I get the most out of my new years eve experience--when I see him again.

Eye Contact--that dreadfully wonderful act that can give you want you want or lock you into something you wish you'd never met.

"Hey!" He says. "I'm Eric."

"Hi, I'm Rachel."

We exchange small talk for a few minutes and then he says, "Well, I think we should hang out sometime."

"Oh..." I say. "Ok...well, I don't know. Maybe. We'll see. OKay, bye."

And I walk away.

Damn it! I did it again! Shut down and without a second thought. ha! What was I thinking! I should really apologize to him. That was so rude!

Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with me. I didn't even give the guy a chance, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't know how I got this way. With a history like mine and the devil playing tricks in my head, of course I find a way to find something wrong with every guy that talks to me. And if nothings wrong with him, I find something wrong with myself.

Well...long story short...Eric runs into my friend Kayla who he doesn't know is my friend. When he finds out she knows me, he tells her that he thought i was cute, tried to talk to me, then I just totally blew him off.

Oops! Now I feel really bad. I finally find him and awkwardly apologize for the way I acted. I explain that I really won't have time in the next day and a half to hang out and that my mind just got ahead of me.

"Well, I was thinking maybe we could hang out back in Missouri," he says. "You're not that far from St. Louis."

"Oh, ok. Maybe," I say (what is with me and that phrase?). "Well yea, just facebook me."

And that's how I ended up here. Sitting at home in Tennessee, typing on my computer, and setting up a date in St. Louis. I'm already flustered with anxiety preparing for a talk that have to give on Thursday, and I just got back from Chicago, which filled my head with high hopes and dreams of moving there. Life is good! Seriously! Yea, I know its a little sad when I look at all this stuff and you hear me babbling like a mad woman when I say that life is good, but the fact that I have a date with a weird guy (?), dream of moving to Chicago, and can actually feel my anxiety speaks to some improvement to me as a person over the last two years.

Okay.....deep breath. Stop acting mad (as in Mad Hatter Mad) and go to bed.

Goodnight!