Eye flirting

On November 12, I wrote about an odd encounter that I had at Kaldi's coffee house. The barista and I had a little tet-a-tete via visual communication.

After I posted the story on my blog, my friend Josh informed me that I had just experienced the art of "eye flirting."

"Eye flirting?" I asked. "Is that really what its called?"

"I don't know," he said. "But that's what I'm calling it now. Eye contact is a good thing. He was looking at you; that means he's interested. If you're interested in him, you eye flirt back to let him know. Then it's up to him to step up and talk to you."

Last year I was at a party with a friend. She left the dance floor to get something to drink. twenty minutes later I found her standing by the wall talking to a guy. They appeared to be in intimate conversation, and she had a smile on her face.

"Good for her!" I thought.

After the party I asked her about the conversation.

"It was weird," she said.

"What do you mean? He seems like a nice guy."

"Well, the whole time he just kept eye contacting me."

"Eye contacting you?"


"Yea, you know, when a guy is like looking at you really hard and trying to like gaze into your eyes. It just makes things really awkward."

"Maybe it means he's interested in you."

"Well maybe I just wanted to have a normal conversation without being eye contacted."



A little over a month has past since my experience at Kaldi's and my conversation with Josh; since then, I have tested out the art of eye flirting a few times--the most recent of which happened tonight:

I was walking out of the candlelight service at church. A herd of people shuffled between me and my mom so I stopped. A guy, who appeared to be around my age, stopped right in front of me. I looked at him with no intention of making eye contact, but he was already looking at me, and...it happened, our eyes locked.

I got confused and glancedto the right, then looked back--his eyes were still there--I looked at the ceiling, then back again. I think we may have smiled at each other. Then I looked at the ground and walked away.

What the heck are you supposed to do in a situation like that?

A couple nights ago I was at the piano bar with my friend Michelle. We were standing up, laughing at people singing karaoke when a cute guy in a camouflage hat (yes, I felt like I was back in Tennessee for a moment) turned around and looked at me.

Eye contact.

I looked away. So did he. Then we both looked back and I smiled.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," he replied. Then he walked over and stood beside me.

The rest of our conversation isn't worth recording. He didn't have much to say. My one successful attempt at eye flirting turned out to be worthy of the fail blog.

I could continue giving you snippets and stories of my eye flirting escapades, but I think that would eventually bore you. I have yet to nail down the proper technique of eye flirting. In all honesty, I think its just freakin' awkward.

If you ask me, I think all you guys should just suck it up and go talk to whatever girl you're interested in. And ladies, be nice to the men. Maybe then they wouldn't be so afraid to say hi. Be approachable, then you can bypass the kooky concept of eye flirting.

Oh Happy Day

Two weeks ago, I was riding my bike home on a Friday afternoon. I had just finished having coffee with a friend and talking to her about who Jesus Christ was, and I was in an incredibly good mood. It was the end of September and the weather was that perfect mix of hot and cold, indicating that the leaves were about to change colors. I was wearing a cute shirt-dress with black shorts underneath and smiling to myself about the great day I was having.

I slowed my bike at an intersection on Cherry Street, just in time for an attractive guy in a business-casual outfit to pass me on my left. I was wearing gold aviator sunglasses and took comfort in the fact that he couldn’t see me checking him out (especially since I looked like a dork wearing a helmet and riding a red and khaki cruiser). The light turned green, and I was about to peddle off when the guy did something unexpected: He looked my way, smiled, and gave me the chin raise. The chin raise! You know…the thing that guys do where they raise their eyebrows and tilt their head back in acknowledgment and approval! I got the chin raise! Me! A girl wearing a stupid helmet! A girl who hasn’t dated in over four years! Me! A girl whose been told on numerous occasions that guys don’t ask her out because she is intimidating! I got the chin raise!

And it gets better…

I continued down Cherry Street, basking in my new found confidence when I passed another man. He was a little less attractive, but no less intriguing. He was burly and had a red beard. He wore a t-shirt and jeans and had dark, intellectual glasses over his eyes. An apron was slung over his shoulder, and I concluded he worked at Shakespeare’s Pizza. He walked casually across the street and seemed to be content with his life.

My mind was still replaying the chin raise I had just received when the burly bearded man glanced at me and said, “Hello!” in a more than enthusiastic voice.

“Hi!” I shouted as I rolled by him, and a toothy smile stretched across my face. A chin raise and a hello?!?! Today must be my lucky day!

I arrived home about fifteen minutes later to find my roommate, Jessica, sitting in the living room reading a book.

“Jessica,” I said. “You will never guess what just happened to me!”

I proceeded to tell her about the satisfactory encounters that I had on my bike ride home.

“And after all that happened,” I said. “I realized…I really can get a date!”

Jessica laughed and assured me that I would be able to get a date. I feel a little silly for finding so much encouragement in two miniscule encounters. But when you soul goal in life used to be keeping men away, it’s encouraging to know that once you’re ready to let them back into your life, they are willing forgive your for former ostentation.