What to Wear on a First Date!!!!!!!

Okay...let me start out by saying that I am no Stacey London. However, I do love her show and would recommend that everyone watch "What Not to Wear." I'm not recommending it because I'm some sort of style snob. I'm sure I have plenty of crap in my closet that London would love to throw out, but the show gives good advice and for those of us living on a missionary's salary, its soooooooooo much fun to lust after the clothes that we could have (is that type of lust also a sin?)

Anyway...let me start out by telling you about the process of outfit selection for my own first date. If you haven't noticed, I've been in a state of discovering myself for the past few months. In the process I've realized that I've done a lot and said a lot of things that aren't actually what I wanted to do or say. In other words, I did what other people did or what I thought they thought I should do so I could make sure they would like me. Sound weird? Well, you probably do it too.

One area that was affected by my inability to be myself was my wardrobe. I suffered in high school, stressing out every time I shopped because I wanted to make sure that what I bought would be acceptable by my fashionista friends. In college, I had even less money than I do now so shopping didn't happen much. I also realized the lack or originality I had when it came to shopping but didn't know myself well enough to establish a style on my own so I pretty much deleted any style that existed in my wardrobe and opted for plain Jane pieces that allowed me to fade into the background.

Well, let me just tell you. As I am discovering more of myself, I'm discovering an intense amount of creativity and liveliness, and fashion seems to be a perfect place to let that explode. Its been fun to redo my wardrobe and frustrating at the same time because I really don't have that much money to go shopping. Nevertheless, shopping has become less stressful and I look forward to it when I do get to go.

That being said...rule # 1 when picking out an outfit for a first date is BE YOURSELF! Don't bust out a sexy little black dress if that is not who you are. You won't be comfortable and your date will be left with an inauthentic impression of you. While shopping for a new outfit might be fun, you probably have something already in your closet that says, "this is me and I'm gorgeous. Thank you for taking me out on a date!"

After Davo (ha....I used his real name) asked me out, I went home and immediately started thinking about what I was going to wear ( and I"m not ashamed to say it because every girl does it). I knew I wanted to look cute, but more than anything I wanted to feel good about myself and I wanted him to notice me. Its okay to want the guy to notice you. Remember what my friend Elizabeth said about being alluring? Its so true! And that allure starts from the inside. Your outfit should never be used to cover up who you are, it should be a a reflection of what you are on the inside--confident, carefree, and sexy!

Rule #2 when it comes to picking out a first date is a little more practical. I would say that unless he's taking you to a Broadway musical or a black tie dinner at the White House, jeans should do the trick. You don't want to over do it on the first date. Jeans are a good way to be sexy without dressing so well you intimidate the guy. Every girl looks good in a pair of jeans that fits well. Pair it with a cute top and heals and your good to go.

Rule #3- Wear heals. This rule is a little flexible. If you are seriously not a heal kind of girl and know that heals would be totally against everything you stand for and you would be miserably thinking about your feet all night, then don't wear them. But for me, wearing heals makes me feel sexier. I don't wear them very often, but when I do, I stand a little taller and feel a little girlier. For my date with Davo, I busted out a pair of strappy yellow sandals to brighten up my black shirt and cropped hunter green jacket. Heals are a good thing. Don't be afraid of them. But make sure they are comfortable.

Rule #4- Color! Color! Color! Me and my friend Michelle went shopping for 3 hours the afternoon before my date. In my mind, I pictured myself wearing something bright red or yellow. Something fun that called attention to me. In the week before my date, I looked at my closet and realized it was void of any bright colors.

"How did this happen?" I thought.

Then I realized it happened about the same time I decided I didn't want guys to notice me and started my four year hiatus from dating. Well, now its time to stop. Colors are good. Colors are fun! And as I'm gaining confidence on the inside, I want that to be reflected in the brightness of my wardrobe. It's just who I am!

Unfortunately, shopping in Columbia is terrible and we didn't find anything. I decided to wear the jacket and shirt that I described earlier (which is actually what I had in mind from the beginning if I wasn't able to find something similar in a brighter color). To add color, I bought a copper bracelet, some earrings with the same color green and purple accents on them, I painted my nails a shiny light purple and my toe nails Emerald City green (which is now my new favorite polish) and finished it off with mustard yellow heals. The shoes may sound like they don't match, but the other colors in the outfit were dark and subtle. The shoes gave the outfit the pop it needed. I felt like a million bucks and was comfortable the entire time.

I've given you three pretty basic rules, but I want to conclude with the most important thing that I want you to get from this post. Be yourself! If your not yourself, then your inside won't shine on the outside. You won't have the confidence that will attract a guy to you, and your outfit won't be reflecting who you are. During my day of shopping I tried on several things that were cute and looked good on me...but all of them felt fake. Opting for new jewelry and an outfit I already owned was the best decision I could have made.

So girls, hair and do your make-up, not because you need to, but because you want to! We're girls! We like girly things and dressing up and primping make us feel good about ourselves. Go have fun!


And Laurie...I'm excited for you. You have cute style and you can be alluring. Get out there and show Kiren what your made of = ) Ha!

I'm officially an expert!

Well friends, I did it. I got a freelance writing my job (just one check off my list of things to do and risks to take in 2010). GradMagazine.com...check it out! The official launch is March 1st, and I, Rachel Henderson, will be your dating and relationships contributor.

"We would like you to post 3-4 articles per week," the editor said in a letter to all contributors. "The article topics are up to you. After all, you are the experts in your area..."

Expert! Ha! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. I start a blog about dating, give a little advice here and there, and suddenly I'm an expert? I think my life should be turned into a romantic comedy...light on the romantic, heavy on the comedy.

But I'd like to say a quick thank-you to all you faithful friends and readers, for reminding me that despite my lack of skill in the dating arena, writing is one thing I can do well. That, and blogging a bunch of BS about the dos and don'ts of dating = )

Speaking of which, I'd like to take this time to repeal a few things I said about the one and only date I went on this semester. Yes, I know, I've already apologized for being too critical, but I just want everyone to know that "Jim" is actually a great guy and some girl will be lucky to have him one day.

No, LeeAllie, I am not falling for him. I just recognize that I was a little too harsh for the sake of entertainment. And while I don't think that Jim and I would actually ever hit it off, I'm glad that we are friends now.

There....that's the end of that. And being that nice felt a little weird.

I suppose I could continue on and give you some more of my expert advice on dating, but that seems a little out of place right now. I've got an entire article sitting in my back pocket, waiting to be revealed to the world, but that will be for another day.

For now, I suppose all I have to say is, get out there and take some risks. Go hangout with people--guys and girls. Don't put all the pressure on "finding" a date. Just do what you like and be who you are and the right person will come your way.

Oh....and one more thing....my friend Elizabeth would tell all you girls to make sure you're alluring. Just because you're not "on the prowl" (that's weird) and looking for someone doesn't mean someone isn't looking for you. So if you want to get a date, dress in a way that makes you feel confident.

Okay, that's about it for now. Oh yea...and the barista from the "eye flirting" article sold me a vanilla latte on Thursday and told me he liked my earrings. I don't know if he remembers me, but the whole looking alluring thing at least worked a little!

Hope you all a good weekend! And if you need advice on how to be alluring....I'm your girl = ) After all, i am an expert!