The first date

Well friends, the date with the Jim was a success. Nothing too awkward happened and I enjoyed two and a half hours of great conversation. While I left the date with a satisfied feeling of knowing I had found a good friend, I do have a few tips for all you men out there considering going on a first date:

1. Always give a compliment

I spent the entire week prior to the date convincing myself and everyone else around me that I didn't really want to go and that i didn't care what happened. But for some reason, I went to Target and bought a new shirt to wear with boots and a sweater that I already had. I took shower, straightened and styled my hair (which doesn't always happen), and spent a significant amount of time putting on make-up that matched my clothes and made my eyes pop. As I stood in the bathroom, bending over the sink with my face in the mirror, I kept asking myself, "Why am I even doing this? I don't care if he likes me. I don't even care if he finds me attractive. In fact, it would probably be best if he didn't find me attractive, then I don't have to worry about him asking me on a second date."

Nevertheless, I fixed myself up and I looked cute. Women spend time getting ready for dates and they like to know its appreciated. So compliment her. Tell her she looks pretty, compliment her outfit, tell her you like her hair. Something. Anything. Just make her feel good about herself. Jim didn't do this, and I noticed right away.

2. Open doors and pull out chairs

I attended a liberal women's college where the feminist movement is in full swing. In fact, a few of their philosophy's have stuck with me, and I'm totally for all girl power stuff. But that doesn't mean I don't like to be treated like a lady.

I will give Jim a little credit for this one. He opened the door at the restaurant and the coffee shop we went to afterwards. However, he did not open my car door (which would have been bonus points) and he didn't pull out my chair (which I can actually forgive that one because honestly, that can sometimes be a little awkward).

3. Don't run down the stairs

Jim had a disadvantage from the start. He had previously taken one of my friends on a date, and she told me his chivalry wasn't the greatest.

He picked me up at 6:30 and we drove downtown to eat at the Pasta Factory. We parked on the third floor of a parking garage about a block away. We got out of the car and walked to the stairs where he proceeded to run down the stairs in front of me. He was talking the entire time, but I have no idea what he was saying because I was trying to keep up with him while holding in my laughter and promising myself not to forget to tell Emily about this.

I'll just chalk this mistake up to his high strung personality and nerves.

4. Don't reveal your mental processes

The Pasta Factory is a nice restaurant--not quite on the same scale as Macaroni Grill, but I would choose it over Olive Garden. Jim is 21 and I am 22; however, I'm not a big wine drinker. After we sat down the waiter presented us with a wine menu and asked if either of us would like anything to drink besides water. Jim paused and I could see him looking at me in my peripheral vision.

"No thanks, I'm fine," I said.

"Yea me too," he said.

The waiter left to get our waters and some bread, and a single moment of awkward silence lingered between us.
"Uh yea, I debated in my head if that would be appropriate or not," Jim said. I glanced up from my menu. "Should I order a drink? Should I not? Maybe that's inappropriate. Up, nope. We couldn't drink together anyway because I'm a student and you're on staff. Huhu...stupid rules. Ha. Ya know. Anyway..."

His arms flailed in nervous gestures through the entire monologues. I bit my lip to hide a smile.

5. Make sure you know where you are going

Jim had texted me earlier that day to let me know that we were going to the Pasta Factory. This is an important note to take because the girl always needs to know how she should dress.

However, once we parked the car, Jim revealed that he had never been to the Pasta Factory and he didn't exactly know where it was.

"Max told me you had to go down some ally and the door was in the back," he said as we walked down the side walk. "Oh, is this it?" he asked as we past a creepy side street on our left.

Luckily for him, I had been to the Pasta Factory several times so I knew where I was going.

"No," I said. "And it's not really an ally. It's this cute little entry that leads to an outdoor patio. You'll see."

We continued walking.

"Oh, here we are," he said. Then he tried to enter a tattoo parlor.

"No, that's not it either," I said. "The door is back there." And I pointed to the Pasta Factory sign

Moral of the story--its okay to go somewhere you've never been before. Just make sure you scope it out first so you know where you are going.

6.. Be sure to lead the conversation

My biggest fear going into the date is that Jim wouldn't talk--that I would get in the car and have to think of something to say first. In my opinion, he asked me out so he should be ready and willing to begin a conversation.

Jim receives a gold star in this category, and maybe things were a little easier for him because we had a lot that we could talk about. The conversation went from roommates, to college, to classes and family, to dogs, to religion, and to Harry Potter before landing on my senior project. It was fun. And I had a nice time talking to him. Good job Jim in the arena of conversation.

A question

This might be a little embarrassing, but I may have made a mistake.

After dinner, we walked to The Underground (formally known as The Artisan) to get hot chocolate. Jim ordered and paid, which was very nice of him, then we sat down to enjoy the after dinner treat.

Each cup had a dollop of whipped cream on top, which planted itself on Jim's nose after he took a drink. He must have felt it because he wiped it off with the back of his hand, but he missed a tiny dot on his left nostril.

He was telling me about some of the Celtic symbolism in Harry Potter; he's taking a class on it and I'm currently reading it. I found it fascinating and I was trying to listen, but I kept looking at the whipped cream and wondering if I should tell him.

A few minutes passed and he paused his discussion.

"Umm..." I said. "Maybe this is awkward but you have some whipped cream on your nose."

He didn't really say anything but he kind of looked to the ceiling and whipped his nose.

"Well, I just figured you'd rather me tell you than not..."

"Maybe..." he said.

Maybe? Should I not have told him?

"I mean, I think I would want you to tell me if I had whipped cream on my nose."

"In that case, you do," he said.

"Only now I don't believe you," I laughed before turning the conversation back to Harry Potter.

Any advice on what to do next time?

Conclusion

Like I said, the date was fun and I walked away feeling like I had made a friend. For some reason, I got a little nervous before the date. I think it had something to do with a thought in the back of my mind: I knew that this was the first of a series of first dates and opening up to myself and to other people. That scares me a little bit.

But this was a good place to begin. Thanks, Jim, for a good night. I realized that I could hold a conversation, that I can control myself from being mean to guys, and that it is possible to have fun on a date with someone you aren't necessarily attracted to.

So, here's to the start of an interesting experience. Stay tuned to find out when date number two will happen.